Parenting

What methods and parenting skills are you using now in comparison to how you were grown? How do you combine these in your kids life and smoothly bridge the time gap(now and then)?

My son has been telling me that he doesn't want to go to his after school program, which saves me a great deal of money and convenience. As a result, I think he is a little stressed out about the fact that he still has to go.

This takes me back to memory lane, as a child I had little or no say in where I was left, my mom decided and even if I didn't like it, based on the practicality of the situation that was the final say.

I thought about that and also the society in which we live, a totally different time and influence from when we were kids and the relationship we had with our parents. 

By bridging the gap and combining how I was grown, I want to instill the same set of values that I was taught with a little more flexibility while including son’s opinion and a clear understanding that I am in charge. I also want to set very high standards for respecting authority, respecting others and respecting boundaries.

This after school issue made me realized that I had to win some battles irrespective of my son’s feelings while explaining in details that this is what I have to do and these are the decisions I’m making as a parent. Something our parents might not have done, the explaining would have been non-existent and just the dry to the point no.

I came to the realization that if we are not being active parents our children become entitled, overly opinionated and bottom line rotten. We have to work twice as hard as our parents because of the world we now live in. A society that is more relaxed and open to children expressing themselves without boundaries and correction.

Please share your thoughts!

Writing from my heart...

When I think I'm fine and life is moving, something or someone provokes my memory slowing me down, crippling me, while a thousand memories flash in a single minute stinging me like hot flashes...and here I am thinking time heals all wounds.

How silly, what time does is, it allows you to live through the pain, to feel everything at one point or the other, and then you start to ignore the pain, living through the numbness, it's all white noise at this point, until the fire of a memory ignites and sparks your thoughts, then the shooting pain comes again.

But what time does is reduce the shooting pains, the memories, the feelings, and the sounds. It allows you to control your breath...the same breath that almost killed you with the memories. What time does is, it helps you to pull from your storage of strength by creating a safe haven for yourself.

when you miss someone so much in the beginning you feel as if you are sinking in asphalt but your steps will become lighter, when you allow yourself to live through the feeling, by creating a cage for yourself...then you will believe that time heals all wounds.

Waiting on Life...

Have you ever tried to skip or jump the line in life? I realize that no matter how you try to go before your time, life will put you right back in the line.

I say this because of a certain experience I had, I was endlessly trying to accomplish a particular life goal, I mapped it out carefully and precisely thinking out all the variables.  However one little unfortunate event happened throwing me off track and pushing me back (as is always the case with life, stuff falling out of the ceiling and from left field).
Naturally I got frustrated losing sight of my carefully orchestrated goal and, at this moment I tried to skip all of that bullshit and cut the line.  None of my line cutting tactics worked, so of course I felt like giving up, as I was ranting and letting out my frustration with  two close friends, they said something to me that made me realize that I had the formula this entire time and all I had to do was excercise  patience.

I say all this to say that, sometimes you have to wait your turn after doing all you can to move from one stage to the other. Planning and executing is just as important as timing and knowing when to move!

Stay inspired and geared up!

Consistency...my nemesis

I sincerely hope to be consistent in the future with my Blogging! Let me get that off my guilty chest, as this is a battle I've been fighting since of late. I will try to conquer this by committing to short regular posts, please feel free to hold me to my word.

I want to emphasize the importance of being consistent through my experience, by encouraging and sharing why it's so important yet hard to be consistent.

consistency helps to build a solid character, somewhat like practice becomes perfect. 
Being consistent also shows that you are serious about the things you want to accomplish by never giving up and sticking to it. 
Also consistency speaks volume about the type of person you are, you show people who you are by remaining consistent. No one likes surprises when it comes to people, they prefer when your characteristics  are the same daily.

Being consistent is hard work, who wants to be militant all the time, life itself is hard enough and sometimes all we want to do is take a break. 

But... if we want to be the best in what we do, the very first step is to be consistent!

What do you want from a relationship?

 

What do we truly want from a relationship?  How many times do we ask ourselves this?
No matter what our answer is I’m sure we all want to feel fulfilled and secured, we want to feel that connection, we want to be understood, and above all the simple feeling that needs are being met. However how often do we stay true to ourselves whether it’s a friendship or a partnership?

I asked a few of my followers what was most important in a relationship and the answers were pretty much similar. Life is simple and we all look for the same characteristics in people, but are we actively looking or subconsciously settling.

To avoid settling, we sometimes need to recalculate by putting our needs first.
If we list 3 things that must be important in a relationship why not make that clear, and also be open to reciprocate by facilitating your partners and their needs at the same time.
With this foundation you and your partner can emulate each other, building on that solid foundation and prepare a secure partnership.

I encourage everyone to get the most out of  life, think about the relationships that you’re in, the friendships, the circles,  readjust,  and evaluate your happiness and comfort level by looking at the things that are most important to you and ask yourself "am I  short changing myself?

Always value yourself, be your catalyst!


The 5 most important thing that all my followers said they wanted in a relationship was

Trust
Communication
Respect
Friendship
Security
Ambition

Please feel free to share your thoughts by joining the discussion!

Life after the storm

 

Life after the storm

This month blog post shares stories of  perseverance and triumphs. The small light in the midst of darkness  that gives  hope and life after the storm, it serves to encourage, empower and give hope.

In every darkness there is always light, once we find the light, the more we stare the brighter it shines back at us.

Melissa

All my adversities makes me realize that I am stronger than I think. I was emotionally and physically abused for years but at that time of my life it was a lesson, that is why I know I am blessed and is always grateful. Sometimes as I reflect I smile and say thank you father, If it wasn't for your grace and mercy I would not be here today. I would really want to share my trials and adversaries but I won't take you back, reason being I would never want to go back for a second.

My past makes me understand that all I needed then was to believe in myself and have true self worth. I will certainly say that good can come from bad, I am truly happy with the woman I am today.  I will forever keep striving, keeping my beautiful smile on my face. I know that it is my spirit of triumph that let other people believe that there is hope . There were times that I felt that life doesn't make sense but thank God for my two daughters at the time of my darkest hours made me realize that I had them and that's the most important thing.

I remember always reading the book of Job and seeing all that he went through, this gave me a sense of hope and empowerment it made me realize I still have life and need to make changes. In 2012 I ran away from abuse, denial, heartache, sadness, insecurity, lack of love, acceptance, and  low self esteem.

Perseverance Determination Purpose Love Family And Ambition are some of the important factors that kept me from going insane.

I am here today and realize that women see growth and strength in me and I feel overwhelmed at times because I remember where I am coming from how I was the one who was seeking comforting , a listening ear, advice and love. I am here today I still do not have everything I need but I feel accomplished I am truly happy I can't give up because I have people depending on me.

Happy New Year! Better Late Than Never..

Forgive me my lovely followers, I know I'm late with my new year post, but better late than never!
I hope everyone has landed safely in 2016, and is enthusiastic and forthright with the resolutions and plans.
I am extremely thankful for a new beginning, a clean slate, and another chance to set goals. I am a little happy 2015 has ended, I wouldn't say it was my worst year but I know I will never forget the challenges and rocky roads that the year has presented. However with a big hooray I can say 2015 is behind! 

This year I have decided to free myself of resolutions, instead I hope to use preparation and experience to conquer my goals, by putting what I've gathered in my life course into full use. My advice is to be better planners and executers, learning from all your set backs and mistakes. I encourage those who feel drained and discouraged to pick up the pieces take your life in your own hands and be the creators of your own stories! Also remember that you are only in a race with yourself so stay in your lane and move at your own pace.

With that said, No matter what experience you had in 2015 whether negative or positive I say be thankful for the good and the bad, using the bad as lessons and the good as examples of favor.

Life is different for each person, even though we might face similar challenges and obstacles our stories are different but unique.... below are a few examples of the year a few of my friends had...

2015 for me started and ended on a high note... I had no resolutions but I certainly accomplish a lot this year and am certainly thankful for my blessings.

- Noel

I had a very special year God blessed me with our daughter Morgan who is healthy, beautiful and such a blessing in our lives

- Karla

My year was really good.  I knew the struggles that I was facing and I prayed for the strength to get through them all. Overall I can say that God's presence was on full blast this year.
Not to say he wasn't in the past, I was paying attention this year.  I have hope and remained as faithful as I could and God brought me through.

- Semone

Every year you say this new year is going to be a better one than the previous year. 2015 was just that and some. The year started with a nice surprise for my company and heralded what would be our most successful year to date in many regards. I am immensely thankful for that. We've been going at it for 6 years and 2015 felt like we finally broke the ceiling and were poised to trend upwards. On a personal and professional note there were many valuable lessons learned many of which will inform future decisions. The year felt like a year of revelation and a sort of stepping into a new phase of life and I am excited for what is to come

- Andrew