ok so let me start by saying I am not a relationship guru, neither do I have much experience on the topic, I am merely speaking from what surrounds me. Here goes...
I feel as if I have failed before I have began, what makes relationships work? Should I take it from a point where I am this girl with so many rules and principles for my prospective person to follow. Laying standards higher than my own head just to prove that I am not going to be the girl who is easy or I should just let things flow and be that relaxed girl not naive but just the girl that doesn't have too much rules and goes along with the flow as light as possible? It seems to me that whichever avenue taken is the same results reached. As soon as we get to know each other the relationship starts to break, or maybe we really didn't take enough time out to get to know each other and the real person that we get is not really what we signed up for.
I don't want this to be a male bashing piece because its not, But my friend shared a very interesting story with me it is 'the new cow syndrome' where a bull is more interested in a new cow than an old one, some studies even states that the bull will not have sex with a cow more than once. Imagine now if this is really how men are ( not with the sex but just finding a new girl more interesting) if this is the case I am in a revolving door. Enough babbling and down to the real 'nitty gritty' why cant people stick it out in their relationships like our grandparents and old time people? Is it that we have so many choices and distractions that we don't have to try hard with anyone or we are simply choosing the wrong person? I would love some feedback on this especially from people that are in relationships that are working. please feel free to share your stories.
Blessings, cheers to love!
Hey Cams, probably like u say people have too much options, i believe tho 80% of the time we choose the wrong person, often maybe, because its convenient, or they look nice or have money (or w.e we r in need of) to offer at the time!...Maybe we r just impatient and dont take time out to get to know the person well! or maybe the world is just changing so much and people naturally just change with it!! My opinions on the topic :-))...personally tho my past relationships failed for most of the mentioned reasons....Kea said people are often unequally yoked and i believe so too!! The one i have now is going great, we have our moments, days when we have minor disagreements but we talk about everything so i guess instead of cheating or quitting (which i often say i am gonna do lol) we talk n sort things thru, but i think what works for us is we are both mature and kno what we want and have been friends, then best friends for a while n we kno and understand each other, patience is also good, he is more patient n less miserable than me tho lol....somehow for now we r makin it work, i dont worry about tomorrow!!! hope my input helped :-))
ReplyDelete...o yes and we both love, love and want to be in love and be with each other :-))) so we make it work for us!
ReplyDelete*cheers to love*
congrats girl...i like to see when young people stick it out in there relationships and i do agree with the point that we dont have patience anymore
ReplyDeleteMaybe folks are afraid of committed relationships because of issues such as trust, past heartbreak and insecurities. Commitment requires alot of patience, honesty, and open communication that alot of people no longer have the energy for. Not to mention in today's fast paced technology driven society it's easy to find a quick hookup! Both men and women are prone to these behaviors!
ReplyDeleteNot a relationship guru either.
ReplyDeleteRelationships are not hard to keep and have never been. As time roles by, the line of thought of people change as we are all socialized differently. When our parents and their parents were growing up they were mostly socialized to think and act along bible principles, which stressed sticking to one partner; although secretly, married men in church had other women in the church who had children for them at times. That was as a result of them lusting and giving into temptations.
When we were growing up we were somewhat socialized to think that having one partner is the best thing as most of us used to go to church religiously as well, but, then came cable, porn, movies and other things that kinda countered what we knew. These were craftily and intentionally sold to us and changed our line of thought and so we adopted the mentality that it is o.k to have multiple partners and that more is merrier.
We have also been socialized into thinking who is the perfect guy, girl and relationship, when no such thing exists. Everyone is different and every relationship is different. If you truly and genuinely like someone and really are aware that you want to be with that person, for that special reason, then you should be with that person despite the temptations.
I could easily agree that relationships are not hard to keep if i go by a definition of what exactly a relationship is but going by the rate of how people are now changing partners i beg to disagree, it is obviously one of the hardest things ever!
ReplyDeleteI believe that some people aren't the one option type. Indeed there are alot of options out there, and with easier means of reaching out and connecting with each other you find that, compared to the days of old, sex is more accessible. Men no longer have to stay in the confines of one "district" as he can easily connect with someone miles away. :) We all know men like sex and if we can find multiple partners with no strings attached then why go into a relationship and be bound by one person. Amidst this promiscuity, however, men do like to have someone special to hold them down. I think that's an innate human trait. It's just a matter of time before running around gets old. Make no mistake there are women out there like that as well. They just get tired faster. #just saying.
ReplyDeletewell nothing is wrong with being the type that wants a number of women...just be clear and let people know that this is who you are, gone are the days when women wont sleep with you because you dont want a relationship, be clear state your purpose form early
ReplyDeleteI had this exact conversation with my ex boyfriend last week.I know I have had high standards and refused to deal with him because he lived with another woman. However he found another woman and had a baby with her..which he kept from me. All together I'm glad I maintained standards as now he continues to pursue me and i'm certain others, but keeps these two other on a string. so at the end of the day the easy "go along with anything" woman are left with headaches and a cheating man who doesnt respect or want them.
ReplyDeletePlease state ur name in the comment i wont know who it is
ReplyDeleteI am no relationship expert, but I think people often get involved for the wrong reasons. Many of us are so caught up with the superficial--looks, shape, color, texture of hair, etc.--that we don't take the time to search for people with the qualities that really matter--integrity, honesty, loyalty, ambition, etc. If you are with someone solely,or primarily, because of their superficial qualities, you will lose interest in that person once those qualities disappear. And, looks do change: faces get wrinkled; and, people get fat. Relatedly, if you only have superficial qualities to offer, don't be surprise when your mate leaves you for someone prettier, sexier,lighter, etc.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend lied that he had two kids and baby mommas. He actually tried to get me to run off to another state to "start over". Guess some women will never learn that no matter if you have a baby, a man wont be compelled to love you. I'm glad I discovered the true caliber of his character. Who knows what his real name is and if he just tired of paying child support to broke women.
ReplyDelete